


Introspection

by VagueMetaphor



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-12
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:40:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26426530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VagueMetaphor/pseuds/VagueMetaphor
Summary: A little Jester-focused scratch based on her being what felt like the least subtle she's been since.. before Avantika?[Episode 109]
Relationships: Jester Lavorre/Caleb Widogast
Kudos: 53





	Introspection

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, so wow – I haven’t written anything that wasn’t both tongue-in-cheek and for a friend since- I don’t know, exactly- but I’m pretty sure the last thing resembling fanfiction I made is probably old enough to vote in the states.  
> So, y’know, thanks Liam for making a character I find uncomfortably relatable- and thanks Matthew for ending this last episode in a fashion that left me with enough anxiety that I ended up not sleeping and instead haphazardly poking at words to make this mess. (Update: This is probably going up on Saturday, still there. I need Trent dead so I can sleep.)  
> (And yes, my trauma is obviously considerably less… y’know,.. I’m not making that joke- but so much else with Caleb hits way too close to home.)
> 
> So what do I do? I channel Caleb: “This sucks, you suck, focus on something good- oh hey Jester’s right there.” And here we are.

To say Jester was angry would be an understatement.

She had been _thrilled_ before they left Nicodranas. Okay, okay, so maybe she had a history of maybe, technically, misreading people,.. but – BUT – she was _pretty_ certain Caleb had flirted with her at the archive. ...There were a couple of times, where she wondered on the island, but that one had been real, right?

Something changed when they went back in Rexxentrum, though.

So maybe she got a little upset when he didn’t really respond to her- and _maybe_ she was a little hurt that he danced with Beau and Fjord, _but not her_ \- and okay, maybe she might have shot herself in the foot with the oops-stone and he was _totally_ planning to save the last dance, but…

When the kid showed up and called him _Bren,_ when he read that letter it looked like his thing with fire.

She felt foolish for making it about herself, then she was a little angry at herself for even that.

Their little family didn’t always agree on everything (she wasn’t _really_ sure they usually agreed on everything), but they all hated Trent for the effect has on _their Caleb_.

_An amber dome, Lorenzo, Walls of Fire, returning the Beacon, Counterspells, Veth, so many spells, countless quiet reassurances- what felt like all of Rumblecrusp…._

All brushed away in an instant with a few words from that man.

She remembers a talk about the differences between murder and killing.

“ _I.. have imagined choking the life out of that man.”_

Jester knows she can be naive about some (a lot of?) things, but she’s pretty sure it wouldn’t actually help Caleb. It’s the only reason she doesn’t want _to watch him do it. (She still kind of wants to watch him do it.)_

“… _.Sometimes. Sometimes after being particularly harsh… he’d apologise after.”_

She’s going to kill Trent Ikithon.

**Author's Note:**

> To end, I don’t know if I’ll actually upload this anywhere- I don’t really have a place to put stuff like this anymore [spoiler: if you’re reading this, I guess I bothered to make one.], but as short as it is, it’s still cathartic- and from what I’ve seen of the people this will strike a chord with the most, I think they could kind of use a different perspective. Or maybe just a distraction.
> 
> And hey- there’s pining, like right there? You guys eat that up, right?
> 
> I never thought I’d root for a ship. I hate shipping. But these two dorks get each other, and that’s just cool, guys.  
> [But really, I hate shipping and I’ve spent most of the campaign talking to my fiance about these two- she’s the shipper, not me. Liam, Laura, why you do this? I didn’t ask for this.  
> In regard to deciding to share this, I could probably, like so many others, also blame Lin for this, too- but at least there’s vindication there in knowing that Liam is aware and sustained by the reactions of and to wj-angst.]


End file.
